note: Also contains Colossians 4:1
18Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Continuing from the previous passage and a call to the Colossians to live Holy lives, here Paul addresses several rules for Christian families to follow as guidelines. He starts off by addressing the married couples. Wives should submit to their husbands as to the Lord. We can see many examples in the bible of wives who have had a submissive attitude towards their husbands for example Sarah and Abraham. She often called him her master, and although Sarah had her equal part in the relationship she would always humble herself and submit to Abraham as the ‘head’ of the family. This may have been a difficult instruction for the women to follow as they are entrusting themselves to the judgements and actions of another person. However Paul still makes it clear that wives should submit themselves to their husbands as is fitting to the Lord.
1 peter 3:1-6 “1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.”
Ephesians 5:22-24 “ 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Likewise, Paul addresses one of the issues with husbands which is not to be harsh with their wives. Whatever the couples in Colossae were facing obviously had to do with husbands not loving their wives as they ought. Husbands have to love their wives as Christ loves the church and this covers a multitude of areas in a relationship. It may have been just as difficult for the men to bear the responsibilities of a husband as much as it may have been difficult for a wife to fearlessly submit herself to her husband and trust in his care. However Paul states that husbands should love their wives.
1 Peter 3:7 “7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
Ephesians 5:25-33 “ 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Paul gives an instruction to the children in households, which is to obey their parents. In Ephesians Paul writes a similar verse with a promise to the children that they will enjoy long life on earth. Not only this but it pleases God that children are obedient not just to God but also to those that are responsible for watching over and taking care of them.
Ephesians 6:1-3 “1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.
Paul addresses another issue in that children were being discouraged by their fathers, possibly by things that are said or their actions. Here Paul states that Fathers should not embitter or as in Ephesians exasperate their children so that they can continue to grow in the Lord without setbacks.
Ephesians 6:4 “4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.
For the slaves (household helpers not in the cruel sense of slavery) who are Christians, they too should obey their masters (those they work for). And they should seek to do what is right all the time and not only when their masters are present. In this way they will be serving God and glorifying him by their actions and faith.
Ephesians 6:5-8 “5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. 6 Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. 7 Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, 8 because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.”
4:1 1 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.
Paul shows equality in regards to submission eluding that God is our ultimate authority and everyone submits to him. Whether you are a slave, a master, a child, a wife, or a husband, we all submit to God’s authority. In knowing this those who are the masters of slaves should also do what is right by their slaves because they too would want to be treated fairly by their heavenly Father.
Ephesians 6:9 “9 And masters, treat your slaves in the same way. Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.”
Finally, in terms of submission in Ephesians 5:21 Paul states that we all must submit ourselves to each other “21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
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Filed under: Colossians, Apostle Paul, Bible study, Christianity, Colossians, God, instructions, Jesus, New Testament, rules for christian households, Scripture
I think you’ve dealt with a difficult subject in an insightful manner. Thanks much. Carley
thanks Carley
glad it helped!
i enjyed the readings thanks for enlightment. i do believe that its hard to submit or even for a women to surrender herself to her husband, just becaus of the fact a women is so use to being around there fathers. but it is up to us as men to show them care love and respect i believe that there father had shown them. but i do love all you have written because it is so true.